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The Heart of Darkness Remembering the Fallen

Twenty years ago, a middle-aged woman could take the mental pain no longer. She went into a closet, wrapped a towel around her head, and put a bullet in her brain. Ten years ago, a man in his mid-thirties walked into the solitude of the forest behind his parent’s house and shot himself through the heart. Two years ago, a young man, barely in his twenties, got drunk and hung himself because his girlfriend left him. Two weeks ago, a man in his mid-forties closed himself in his bathroom, lit two grills and quietly slipped away. He left behind a note saying that “It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just had to be done” and $5800 to cover funeral costs.

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Fallen Hera

They all stood silent, surrounding the cold village hearth. Ashes from the smothered fire had been flung and smeared on each tear stained face. The drums had stopped, revealing the far off sound of slowly approaching hoofbeats.

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The End of Desire

~ The Adventures of Kali Mama~

If it is at Beltane that we experience our Desire, then it is a Samhain where we experience the End of Desire.

During the Beltane moments of our lives we are consumed with the raw, undeniable energy of our desire; when our lives are informed by passions so deep and so great that our entire world is swallowed up with our yearning. These moments can last a day, a week, or years. The object of our desire can be as varied as a desire for a lover, to have a baby, to save the earth, a get a new job or house, to know the Goddess, or for peace and healing. Whatever forms our desire takes; its energy is powerful and is directed outward, into the external world.

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Friend or Fiend

~ The Adventures of Kali Mama~

The other day a co-worker and I were discussing parenting. He and his wife made the conscious decision not to have children. He asked me, "How do you not worry all of the time?" His question was serious and caught me off guard. It was one of those "truth" questions - it was deep and unexpected and it elicited a profound internal response. Holding back tears, I looked into his eyes and said, "You don't. You worry all the time. And then go numb." My answer surprised and saddened me.

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Got is Day

~Four Reasons for Hope~

As a Goddess Womoon in a patriarchal world, it is too easy to feel depressed and devoid of hope. Patriarchal destruction is everywhere: oil leakages in the Gulf, mining companies ravaging sacred mountains, the rape and silencing of wimmin everywhere. I watched a movie made for young children the other day that depicted a male dog whistling and ogling a female dog. Disrespect and violence towards wimmin and the earth is not only rampant in our culture, it is a form of entertainment.

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